He's Not Dead, He's My Mascot/transcript
This article is a transcript of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy ''episode "He's Not Dead, He's My Mascot" from season four, which aired on April 1st, 2005. '''Mandy: '''That was, disturbing. '''Mindy: '''Hey dweebs. (Mindy walks by, and carries a fat yellow cat on her hands.) '''Billy: '(Gasps) It's the fluffy cat, fluffy cat. 'Mandy: '''Oh great, another stinking episode about pets. (The episode pauses, and Mandy gets out of the episode) That's it! I'm out of this cartoon, let me know how it goes. (Then the door opens and closes, and Billy and Mindy just looks at the camera.) '''Billy: '''Psst! Grim, Mandy left. What do I do now? They're all watching. '''Grim: '''I'm not in this scene Billy. Just keep going. '''Billy: '''Will do! (Then, the episode resumes) Hey, it's the fluffy cat, fluffy....cat. '''Mindy: '''You already said that. '''Billy: '''Oh yeah. '''Mindy: '''Listen, I need you to do me a favor. The Rock City Booty Heads are gonna try to kidnap before the big game like they do every year. '''Billy: '''Fluffy Cat? '''Mindy: '''So I need you to hold onto him until then. (She gives him the fluffy cat.) '''Billy: '''Fluffy Cat! '''Mindy: '''Okay? '''Billy: '''Fluffy Cat! '''Mindy: '''Uh, yeah. whatever. '''Billy: '''You're so cute. (Fluffy Cat burps) '''Billy: '''We're gonna be the bestest friends forever. (He then scratches Billy's face off.) (Then we get to the scene where Grim is watching TV, until he sees the commercial.) '''Commercial Lady: '''Hey there big boy, do you like surprises? '''Grim: '''Oh you know I do. '''Commercial Lady: '''Well then, here it is. (She then takes out the new chainsaw called the tree whacker 2000) The tree whacker 2000. This amazing new chainsaw can be yours for 16 easy payments of $19.95. Guaranteed to slice checkmater to softest tomato. (She then slices the checkmater and the tomato.) So act now, while supplies last. (Grim unknowingly then picks up fluffy cat rather the telephone, and he dials the number to order the new tree whacker 2000.) '''Grim: '''Yeah, Hello? I'd like to purchase the tree whacker 2000, and start whacking now. Yeah, I'll hold. (Grim whistles, and then later, fluffy cat scratches his face off and he screams and dropped the cat.) '''Billy: '''Hi Grim, hey, it looks like you already met my fluffy cat. '''Grim: '''That thing clawed me face off. '''Billy: '''Oh, that means he likes you. '''Grim: '''That thing is a menace. (He screams and runs away.) '''Billy: '''Aww, you're not a menace, you're the cutest most bestest cat, ever. (Fluffy Cat then drinks out of the toilet.) '''Harold: '''Who's in there? I gotta use the bathroom. (Fluffy Cat burps) '''Harold: '''Billy is that you? Your not drinking out the toilet again are you son? We've talked about this before. '''Billy: '''Good one Grim. '''Gladys: '''Hi sweetie how was your...(Gasps) (She finds a wrecked living room, and Billy and his fluffy cat are just sitting on the couch.) '''Gladys: '(Angrily) My House! Oh that is it Billy, I am putting Mr. Furry Cat in the basement. (She grabs him, and sends him to the basement.) '''Billy: '''But, he-he's my bestest friend. (She throws Fluffy Cat to the basement and closes the door, and Fluffy Cat meows.) '''Gladys: '''There! Now he's your best friend that lives in the basement. '''Billy: '''But it's dark and scary down there. '''Mindy: '''Okay that's just disgusting. Billy I'm gonna need Fluffy Cat back so I can get him ready for the big game. '''Billy: '''Eh, never heard of him. (She then grabs his shirt, and puts in on his face.) '''Billy: '''The Rock City Booty Heads wants me to tell me where Fluffy Cat is. And now they're on their way to kidnap him. '''Mindy: '''How are the Fluffy Cats going to play without a mascot? We'll lose and it's all your fault. '''Billy: '''Well, since Mandy isn't here. '''Grim: '''Yeah, where is she? I haven't seen her all day. '''Mandy: '''They'll put anything on TV. '''Irwin: '''Uh, Mandy? '''Mandy: '''What is it? '''Irwin: '''It looks like they need you. '''Mandy: '''Did I ask you? '''Irwin: '''No, I'll be good. '''Billy: '''I need you to resurrect an old fluffy cat from one of those graves that I can pass off as a fluffy cat that I lost. Fluffy cat #1 should do it. '''Grim: '''That's the stupidest plan I've ever heard of. '''Billy: '''So you'll do it? '''Grim: '''Yeah (X3), give me some room. (Grim then brings Fluffy Cat #1 back to life, and she's back to life and comes out of her grave, and Billy picks her up.) '''Billy: '''Oh, she's perfect. No one will be able to tell the difference. '''Grim: '''Whatever. '''Billy: '''I love you new fluffy cat. (He hugs Fluffy Cat #1, and her head falls out) '''Billy: '''I wonder whatever happened to Mandy. '''Grim: '''I'm sure that she'll turn up eventually. (Fluffycat then wakes up, and barfs out a giant hairball, and Mandy appears in the hairball.) '''Mandy: '''This is why I hate cats. (Then the episode ends with a cat meowing.)